The longing for more is not wrong

Can you feel the call for adventure? That feeling of longing for more, and not accepting that this was it?

I think many of us feel very different from what society tells us we should feel at this age. We are supposed to be grateful, settled, sensible, happy with what we have built and not ask too many questions. We are supposed to quietly become smaller, less visible, less hungry for life. And I think this is where we need to become very discerning, because so much of this is patriarchy trying to keep us small and insignificant.

When women in midlife wake up to the fact that we want a big life, that we want to make an impact, that we want to do our part in making the world a better place, it is powerful. And it is also disruptive. Because suddenly the life that looked fine from the outside can start to feel too small from the inside.

I think we need to ask ourselves what would be possible for us if we leaned into the fuck it moment and just went for whatever is on our heart. Not in a reckless way, but in an honest way. What would happen if we stopped explaining our longing away, and actually listened to it?

For my 50th birthday I ran away

For my 50th birthday I ran away. I could not deal with the expectation of throwing a big party and celebrating this big birthday, because I did not feel like celebrating at all. I just wanted to be alone, in my own energy. I needed space to work things out because I could feel something growing inside of me and I did not know how to express it.

In hindsight, this was my midlife calling banging at the door. I have meanwhile found it in my Human Design chart and it became my signature offer to support women approaching 50 to find theirs. But back then, it did not feel clear or exciting. It felt exhausting.

I felt this hunger for more, for freedom, travel and adventure, and at the same time I could see my current life shrinking into comfort and routines that prevented all of the things I was longing for. Every possible direction that my life could take, if I stayed where I was, in my relationship, location and career, tasted bland and boring.

It felt like a compromise, and the feeling that I did not want to compromise grew stronger and stronger.

A bigger, freer, more honest life

It was not easy. I did hurt people. And also, I could not live a life that was not true to myself anymore. It took me time and it did not happen overnight, but I did it. I changed, and I am still changing everything.

I left my 28-year partnership. I had a big pivot from interior design to business designer, and I am exploring moving to Marrakech at the moment. And life feels exciting again, like a big adventure.

So if you can feel something knocking at the door, I want to say this gently: maybe it is worth listening. Maybe the longing is not there to make you feel bad about your life. Maybe it is there because something in you already knows that there is more available for you now.

You do not need to know the whole plan yet. You do not need to burn everything down tomorrow. But maybe you can begin by admitting the truth to yourself. That something wants to move. That something wants to grow. That something in you wants a bigger, freer, more honest life.

And maybe that is not too much.

Maybe that is exactly the point.

Much love,

Sharonah x