How confusion in midlife can reveal the life that is trying to emerge underneath the one you have outgrown

Confusion is almost inevitable somewhere along the menopause journey. We are shifting deep parts of our identity, and things that made perfect sense before can suddenly lose their shine. What we valued, worked towards and perhaps even built our lives around starts to feel strangely flat. Somewhere in the middle of all that uncertainty, feeling blissfully peaceful can become the shiniest object in the room.

Before my own confusion arrived, I had been self-employed as an interior designer for more than twenty years. I thought I had life figured out. I knew what I was good at, I knew who I was and I knew where I was going. Then perimenopause quietly entered the room and rearranged everything.

For a while, I was completely lost because I could no longer see the thread connecting everything I had done, everything I knew and everything I was becoming. So, without really understanding what I was doing at the time, I reached for the tools I had spent decades mastering and began looking at my life the way I would once have looked at a space.

Looking at the whole house

I laid my lived experience out like a floorplan and looked at the rooms I had already lived in, the work I had done, the things I had built, the skills I had collected almost accidentally and the experiences that had shaped me. I looked at the parts that still felt alive and the parts I had clearly outgrown.

When I stopped looking at each room separately and saw the whole floorplan, I could finally see something important. This wasn’t a decorating job. It needed a renovation.

Anyone who has ever renovated anything knows that there is usually a point where you seriously consider just living with the horrible bathroom forever. I did the same with my life. I tried to settle. I tried to convince myself that what I had was perfectly fine and that perhaps I was asking for too much.

But the urge for change kept getting louder, and slowly, underneath all the confusion, a vision began to appear of how my life might feel on the other side.

That was where Human Design changed things for me. I began to think of it almost like tracing paper laid over the floorplan of my lived experience. When I held the two together against the light, certain lines started to illuminate. Things that had seemed random began to connect, and the gifts I had been using my entire life without really recognising them became visible.

I could also see more clearly why some paths had always felt natural while others had required me to push myself into a version of myself that never quite fitted. Somewhere in that overlay, a path began to appear.

Clarity is not certainty

That experience eventually became the foundation of the way I work with women now. You bring me the floorplan of your life: what you have lived, what is working, what no longer fits, where you feel stuck and the life you can almost see but cannot yet quite reach.

Then I overlay your Human Design.

I am not looking at your chart in isolation and telling you who you are. I am looking for the intersection between the woman you have already become and the design that has been underneath her all along, because that intersection is usually where the interesting things begin to reveal themselves.

The kind of clarity I am interested in is not the promise that you will suddenly know exactly what is going to happen next. Life will always life. Plans change, unexpected doors open and things sometimes fall apart before they rearrange themselves into something better.

For me, clarity became knowing who I was becoming so deeply that I could meet whatever happened from there. I changed my life bit by bit, with a vision and an inner knowing that the version I was moving towards was more aligned with who I actually was.

My life is certainly not free from confusion now, but underneath it there is something I didn’t have before: self-trust.

And strangely enough, that self-trust became the peace I had been searching for.

This is the work we do in Clarity by Design. We lay out the floorplan, overlay your design and look for the path that is already trying to illuminate itself. Not so you can predict every turn ahead, but so you can trust yourself when you reach it.

With so much love & respect,

Sharonah x