This year marks my 30 years as a solopreneur. Thirty years of learning as I go, building, rebuilding, and staying in the game even when it gets messy.

And because we’re living in a shiny social media age where it can look like everyone else has always been successful, I want to tell you about a moment where nothing worked for me. A moment I still remember in my body.

The day my card declined

It was a Saturday afternoon, right in the middle of life stress. We were converting a cellar into an apartment. I was trying to arrive in a new city and make it feel like home. I had a three-year-old. I was stretched thin.

I grabbed my little girl and went grocery shopping, just trying to do the normal thing.

At the till, my card didn’t work.

I knew straight away why. I was over my limit, and I didn’t even have enough to buy food. That moment is engraved in me as rock bottom.

I walked out of the shop empty-handed, tears streaming down my face, trying to explain to my little girl why we went shopping and then left everything behind at the till. I felt defeated by life. I felt ashamed. I felt sorry for myself.

And I’m telling you this for one reason. If you are feeling tender right now, if you feel stuck, if you’re quietly panicking about money or capacity or the future, I want you to know you’re not alone. Everyone has had it tough at some point, even the women who look like they have it all together.

What menopause does to money fear

Menopause has a way of turning the volume up. On emotions, on exhaustion, on clarity, and sometimes on fear.

Money fear can get louder because your body is already asking for so much. More rest. More honesty. More boundaries. More space. The old way of pushing through becomes less available, and that can feel scary if your business has been built on you doing the most.

In moments like that, it’s easy to see life through a lack lens. Not enough time. Not enough energy. Not enough money. Not enough support. Not enough certainty.

And here’s the thing. Lack is persuasive. It will offer you “sensible” choices that keep you small. It will call them realistic. It will make you feel like you’re being irresponsible if you choose the thing you actually want.

Even now, I refuse to see things from the lack perspective. Some people call me naïve for it. I see it as choosing the lens that keeps my nervous system steady enough to hear my own truth.

The millionaire switch and the tiniest next step

So here’s the gentle exercise I use when a decision is needed, especially around an investment, visibility, travel, or putting an offer out into the world.

Imagine you are already a millionaire. Not in a performative way, but in a calm way. You are safe. You are supported. You have room to breathe.

Then ask her:

Would you buy it? Would you go there? Would you put out this offer? Would you rent out your home for a month if it gave you freedom? Would you take the trip? Would you do what you do?

If the answer is no, why do it now?

If the answer is yes, but the inner critic shows up immediately and talks you out of it, hold the space. Don’t argue with the critic. Don’t force yourself to leap. Just notice that fear is trying to drive.

You might not have the money right now. You might not have the energy right now. But you can almost always take one tiny step in that direction.

A tiny step is powerful because it changes the identity underneath the fear. It says, I’m not waiting for life to approve me. I’m building the bridge.

Trust divine timing, yes. And also keep walking towards the dream like it’s real.

If this landed for you, take one small step today. Then let it be enough.

Much love,

Sharonah x