Alright, coffee chat question: what feels like the lower frequency to you, patience or impatience?

When I tune into those two, impatience feels like a tight jaw and a racing mind. It’s that itchy feeling of “come on, hurry up,” where everything becomes urgent. Patience, on the other hand, feels like exhaling. Like you’ve got your feet on the ground. Like you can actually hear yourself think.

And I honestly think so many of us have been trained into impatience without realising it. Especially women. Especially ambitious women. Especially women running their own businesses while moving through perimenopause, which is already asking your nervous system to do a lot.

Because it’s not just “I want this to happen.” It becomes “I need this to happen quickly or it means something about me.”

When speed becomes the normal, we start doubting ourselves

The pace of everything has sped up, hasn’t it? You can feel it in how quickly we consume, respond, decide, compare. And if you’re building a business, you’re surrounded by people selling fast results as if it’s the only kind of success that counts.

But real business growth is often quiet and unsexy. It’s the steady showing up. It’s refining. It’s building trust. It’s learning what actually lands with your people. It’s getting knocked, getting back up, getting smarter, getting clearer. That’s not a flaw in the process. That is the process.

And then add perimenopause into the mix. The shifting hormones, the different energy rhythm, the brain fog days, the “why am I crying at an email” days. It makes total sense that the temptation is to push harder and speed up, just to feel in control again. But that’s exactly when impatience can turn into a trap.

The trap sounds like: “I should be further along by now.”
And that sentence is basically a little thief. It steals your confidence, it steals your steadiness, and sometimes it steals the whole dream. Not because you can’t do it, but because you’re exhausted from arguing with time.

Clarity is the thing you need… and it won’t be bullied

This is the part I wish we said to women more often: you don’t build a dream business just by trying harder. You build it by getting clear.

Clear on what you actually want to stand for. Clear on what you’re offering. Clear on who you’re here to help. Clear on the change you want to create. And not in a fluffy way — in a grounded way that makes your decisions simpler and your marketing feel honest instead of performative.

But clarity has a funny personality. The more you chase it, the more it hides. The more you force it, the more it fogs up. It tends to arrive when you stop shaking the snow globe.

Sometimes it takes stillness. Sometimes it takes a bit of surrender. Sometimes it takes letting yourself admit, “I don’t know yet,” without making that mean you’re behind. Especially in midlife, there’s actually so much power in letting things ripen. You’re not here to build a business the way a 22-year-old hustle bro does it. You’re here to build something that fits your life, your values, your body, your season.

The next time impatience hits, try this softer reframe

So when impatience shows up, and it will, I want you to get curious rather than cruel.

Because impatience is often a clue that you’re trying to force something before it’s ready. Or that you’re missing clarity and your brain is panicking because it wants certainty. Or that you’ve been comparing your chapter three to someone else’s chapter twelve. Or that you’re simply tired, and tired brains are dramatic.

Instead of “What’s wrong with me?”, try: “What’s unclear right now?”
Instead of “I need to move faster,” try: “What needs to settle so I can see?”
Instead of “Maybe I should quit,” try: “What’s one baby step I can take without abandoning myself?”

That’s the kind of patience that isn’t passive. It’s not sitting around doing nothing. It’s the steady devotion of a woman who refuses to be rushed out of her own life.

And if you want to bring in the spiritual piece, you can. You can call it divine timing, or inner knowing, or just trusting your own rhythm. Either way, it’s the same truth: you’re allowed to take the time it takes.

Because you’re not behind. You’re building something real. And real things don’t bloom on command.

If you want, I can also rewrite this in your exact brand tone (more cheeky, more mystical, more soothing, more bold) but this version should already feel like that warm coffee chat energy.

Much love

Sharonah x