One of the sentences my coach has said to me over and over, since I started stepping out of my old life and letting my body guide me into a new one, is this: If you want to lead others, you need to lead yourself first.

Menopause makes self-leadership non-negotiable

If you’re a menopausal entrepreneur, you’ll know exactly why that hits. This season has a way of stripping away what no longer works. The strategies that were built on adrenaline, overgiving, and “just push through” start to feel impossible. Not because you’re failing, but because your body is changing the rules.

And honestly, it’s an initiation. Your body is no longer willing to be dragged behind your to-do list. She wants to be included. She wants to be listened to. She wants the leadership seat back.

Self-leadership isn’t a cute mindset concept. It’s the daily practice of coming back to yourself, especially when everything around you is pulling for more output, more speed, more proving.

Joy as a compass, not a treat you earn

For me, self-leadership started the moment I stopped trying to “push through” and began going within to ask:
What actually brings me joy, and how can I have more of that every day?

That question sounds simple, but it’s deeply disruptive when you’ve been conditioned to prioritise everyone else’s needs, to be “good”, to be productive, to be sensible. Many women are taught to treat joy like a reward. Something you get once everything is done. Once the business is stable. Once the family is sorted. Once you’ve achieved the next milestone.

But midlife changes the stakes. Joy becomes information. It tells you what’s aligned. It tells you what nourishes you. It tells you what’s sustainable.

Not the performative kind of joy that looks impressive. The real kind that settles your nervous system and gives you your clarity back.

When you build your business from that kind of joy, your leadership changes. It becomes steadier. Less performative. More magnetic. More you.

Discern fear, conditioning, and strategy

Here’s another part of self-leadership I had to learn: becoming aware of the pessimistic voice. The one that turns up the moment you start listening to your calling: “You’ll never live your dream life. Don’t bother. It’s too late.”

That voice can sound convincing. But self-leadership taught me to get discerning instead of reactive.

Ask yourself:

• Is this fear trying to keep me safe?

• Is this conditioning trying to keep me small?

• Or is this the moment to develop a strategy that takes me one step at a time towards what I want?

In midlife, many of us enter a cycle where purpose gets louder. Often around 49, the calling becomes clearer, but only if you slow down enough to hear it. It’s so easy to keep going the way things have always been done and drown out the whispers with busyness, productivity, and “being sensible”.

But listening takes courage. Especially when it means changing your life and business. And it rarely happens overnight.

I’m 54 now, and I can honestly say I’ve navigated myself through this process. I’ve learned to lead myself, not perfectly, but truly. One of the tools that supported me most was Human Design. It didn’t just give me language, it gave me better questions. It helped me separate what is actually me from what happened in life, what I absorbed, and what I was conditioned to believe I should be.

If you’re in a season where you feel tender, called, and a bit “I don’t know what’s next, but I know it can’t be the old way”, you’re not alone. That in-between season is where self-leadership is forged.

If you have questions about how Human Design can help reveal your calling, hit reply. It’s just me on the other side.

Much love,

Sharonah x